Sorry for the delay, I was far busier in January than expected. Hope you enjoy this silly little video! Contains childishly gratuitous swearing.

Full lyrics (spoilers!):


Up, down, in or out,
Who gives a shit?
Juggling is juggling,
no matter who is doing it.

But at this time of every year
You cast your votes to make it clear.
So then I have to count them up
And then count down the list right here.

Okay? Here's goes.

Three balls are easy,
You're kidding no one Falco
You juggled at a normal rate then
Speeded up the video.

Cigar boxes? Circus school?
If you try it you're a fool.
Except if you're Eric Bates
Then, OMG, you're fucking cool.

Three balls are easy,
Mr Yuri, can't you see?
Forget this shower behind you head.
And pick up two more balls just for me.

To juggle is to catch
To juggle is to throw
Well done riky, this looks tricky
But you need to let go.

Five balls are easy.
And while Chris has the knack.
The lazy fucker won't stand up
And juggles on his back.

We're all in bed.
Someone stays up late instead
Juggle siteswaps in the dark.
Steve is a Go Head.

Everyone is equal but we
All know guys can juggle best.
Joelle is the only girl
to break into this sausage fest.

The IJA loves Ivan Pecel
Easy tricks, drops as well.
Still gets third place, what the hell?


Up, down, in or out,
Who gives a shit?
Juggling is juggling,
so let's get back to it.

Bouncing is easy
Marco's kidding no one
Pick up your 12 pieces
And put your shirt back on

Step forward, Walker,
Toby or not Toby
That is the question
Toby answer it for me.

11 balls is hard, you know
But there's one guy who'll prove us wrong
Alex Barron, he keeps up
Eleven balls for way too long

And still with his project
Is Sean Gandini
Keeping jugglers in work
Since 1993

Diabolo is easy
Unless you're doing four.
Purple clock, white props
Pick your jaw up off the floor.

Tangled string diabolo
That's the other way to go
Eljas and Joona
Got the same number of votes, you know.

Diabolo, diabolo,
Another damn diabolist
A young kid called Etienne
The highest one upon this list.

Asking "Am I cool yet?"
Thom has style, I must be fair,
Forget the props, Forget the tricks,
We only like you for your hair.


Up, down, in or out,
Who gives a shit?
Juggling is juggling,
is juggling is juggling.

Five clubs are easy
Hey Jon Brady
You're back on the chart this year
At number 23

Ori Roth is bonkers
Have you seen his Happy Ori Friends?
Stop taking trippy drugs.
We all know how this story ends.

Three clubs are easy
If you don't try to throw them
Four clubs are easy
This trick has really caught on.

Seven clubs are...
Ah...
Well...
Seven clubs aren't easy.

Five balls are easy
Unless they're tied up with some string
Back again is Gilligan
Jay will juggle anything

Down 9 places
is Komei Aoki
He makes it look fucking cool
But 1 ball is easy.

Rocking out in Berlin
Up from last year's 32
Christof Buch is fucking crazy
There is nothing he can't do.

Patrik Elmnert, no ck,
A juggler from Sweden,
Nobody would care except
He juggles with Wes Peden


Up down, in or out,
Who gives a shit?
Okay then, I admit,
I do care a little bit.

Five clubs are easy
Don't you know it, Noah?
Unless you do a pirouette
And juggle singles lower.

Nobody can spell his name
Alexander Koblikov
When he juggles 10 on stage
Gravity can go fuck off.

One ball is easy
Unless you do it old school
Kyle Johnson style contact
Techy body rolls rule.

Froyo eating juggling guy
Can't stand up to his attacks.
Jason Garfield, back on form
A One man stand against the hacks.


One ball is easy,
When there's four hands especially.
But add a dance, and Stefan Sing and
Cristiana show us beauty.

Hey, who's this? Luke is awesome.
Luke is awesome.
Luke is awesome.
Luke is awesome.
Luke is awesome.
Everything he does is awesome.

Seven balls are easy
David makes this clear
The highest new entry
on the chart this year.

Down three from last time,
In oh six he was number 1.
Now that he is 28
Thomas is still having fun

Up down in or out.
I care care a fucking lot.
For the fourth year in a row can
Peden take the top spot?


6 clubs are easy
For Vova Galchenko
Down three from last year
He's never been this low.

Also down from last year
Gatto slips in this race
lackies from his forum cannot
push him higher than fifth place.

When, next year, you vote for Pavel
Why not look up how to spell?
It's EVSUKEVICH, okay?

Six balls are easy
Five clubs are easy?
How the hell did Doug climb
Seven up to number three?

Spin spin spin spin
Spin some more, spin again
Spinny spinny spin spin
Spin Benjaminsen

Wes Peden, he's back,
One more year at number one.
I know you're good, I know you're great
Why not take next year off?

For fuck's sack,
give someone else chance.

Up down in or out,
Who gives a shit?
Why bother voting if Wes
always wins it?